While sitting comfortably in the MRT, you notice a child swinging from the handles. His mother urges him to stop but he refuses and starts throwing a tantrum. The whole matter escalates when the frustrated mother screams at the child to stop and the entire cabin stares at the duo.
This certainly is a very common scene in our daily lives. Have you ever been in such a situation yourself?
“Whenever my son throws a tantrum, I can’t help but feel the need to shout at him because I feel that he is being unreasonable”, said Lee Jiarui, father of a 1-year-old.
The thing that parents don’t usually notice is the fact that their toddler throws a tantrum for a reason. Parents should pause and try to understand what the underlying reason behind this sort of behaviour is before shouting or beating them.
You have to remember that negative emotions are emotions too. When you shout at them for having negative emotions, it might make them feel that being angry or sad is wrong. And if they continue cooping up their negative emotions, it could be detrimental to their growth. Hence, it is key for parents to help their child identify these emotions and find a resolution for them.
Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist, came up with five steps of Emotion Coaching. Emotion Coaching helps your kid identify and understand different emotions they experience, why are they feeling those emotions and how to deal with them.
Step 1: Be aware of emotions
- Be sensitive and observe your child’s emotions
- Look out for cues such as such tone of voice, facial expression, and body language
Step 2: Know that negative emotions from your child is an opportunity for bonding and learning
- Talk to your child about his negative feeling, show them that you care
- Share your past experiences with dealing with such emotions
To read the whole article, do visit http://singaporeschild.com.sg.